I am a size 6. I don't remember the last time I had to opt for a size 8, infact a few times i've gone and fetched a size 4.. so why don't I feel thin? I weigh just over 7 stone and have a 23 inch waist but I still feel that i'm not thin enough for people to say so to me. It's strange. I know it's because of my height and being small is a bitch. Because of my height, I don't look as thin as I am and I don't want to be unhealthy just to look thin. I've been through that and know how dangerous it is. I'd like to feel good about myself though, really good. Is that ever going to happen?
On the plus side, my brother may be coming to stay with me. I'm looking forward to it =].
x<3x
Thursday, 20 March 2008
Monday, 3 March 2008
Mother's day?
Mothers's day. How many people must it hurt and upset?! I know it will never go away, it makes too much money for people, but when you think about how many people are somehow motherless, it doesn't seem fair.
Mother's day. What a headache. Times like this are always awkward. Until I left home just after i'd turned 18 to live with my boyfriend, i'd only hugged my mum once in my life - which was when she had to tell everyone that she had cancer, and even that was awkward. For most of my life I had the mentality that I didn't need parents or a family, and for most of it I didn't, so why is it that at the age of almost 20, I want one? I do have my fiance's family, who have taken me in and are a family to me, and for that i'll always be greatful. However, no matter how great they are, i'm still aware that they're not mine, and i'm not their daughter and i'll never feel completely part of a family until we have our own (which I can't wait for =)).
I got to see my grandparents though on Sunday, which always makes me smile. My grandma, a human version of Mrs Tiggywinkle, is adorable and seeing the glee on her face when I walk through the door makes me happy all the way from the inside out. My dog and cats also seem to have this effect!
I'm so much in love and don't know how the hell he puts up with me sometimes. The fact that he does makes me feel like we can get through anything (at least I know that I can with him beside me). I know that i'm not the girl he fell in love with right now, but i'm trying!!
x<3x
Mother's day. What a headache. Times like this are always awkward. Until I left home just after i'd turned 18 to live with my boyfriend, i'd only hugged my mum once in my life - which was when she had to tell everyone that she had cancer, and even that was awkward. For most of my life I had the mentality that I didn't need parents or a family, and for most of it I didn't, so why is it that at the age of almost 20, I want one? I do have my fiance's family, who have taken me in and are a family to me, and for that i'll always be greatful. However, no matter how great they are, i'm still aware that they're not mine, and i'm not their daughter and i'll never feel completely part of a family until we have our own (which I can't wait for =)).
I got to see my grandparents though on Sunday, which always makes me smile. My grandma, a human version of Mrs Tiggywinkle, is adorable and seeing the glee on her face when I walk through the door makes me happy all the way from the inside out. My dog and cats also seem to have this effect!
I'm so much in love and don't know how the hell he puts up with me sometimes. The fact that he does makes me feel like we can get through anything (at least I know that I can with him beside me). I know that i'm not the girl he fell in love with right now, but i'm trying!!
x<3x
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